Why I Share The Hard Parts of My Story

By Lindsey Bell

It’s not always easy to share the hard parts of your story.

Sometimes, we would much rather keep those things hidden and pretend like they never happened.

But for the past several years, God has challenged me to share my entire story. He didn’t ask me to only share the good things. He didn’t ask me to only share the parts of my story that can be wrapped up with a neat and tidy bow at the end.

He also asked me to share the painful things. He asked me to share the parts of my story that haven’t been fixed.

For a while now, I’ve wondered why. Because honestly, I don’t like being “the miscarriage expert.” I don’t like being known for infertility.

Why does God want me to share the hard parts of my story?

Then, a few years ago, I read this quote by Kaci Calvaresi, and I got it. I understood why He wanted me to share not only the good things of my story but also the painful, unresolved things.

“God can’t use a redemptive story you’re not willing to tell.” Kaci Calvaresi

That’s why we share the hard parts…because God wants to use them.

God wants to use my pain to encourage someone else.

He wants to use my story…that doesn’t have the miracle baby at the end of it…to remind another person who might not have gotten their miracle that God still loves them.

God redeems pain in many different ways. Sometimes, He does it through a miracle.

But other times, He does it through our stories.

Lindsey Bell’s newest book, Unbeaten, releases this month! Below is an excerpt.

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Unbeaten book cover Lindsey BellEvery Christmas, Easter, and Valentine’s Day, as I grew up, my mom made sure my brothers and I all received the same kind of candy in our stockings or baskets. What’s more (and what we still tease my mom about) is that she made sure we even got the same amount of each color of candy.

For instance, we each got twelve red Skittles, ten yellow ones, seven green ones, and eleven orange ones. If one of us got thirteen red Skittles and another eleven, we cried “unfair!” and wanted my mom to make it right. God bless her for loving us so much, and bearing with us as we sought to make everything in life fair.

It starts early, doesn’t it, this desire for life to be fair?

Even my two-year-old wants everything in his world to be fair. If his older brother gets to stay up ten minutes late at bedtime, he thinks he should get to stay up late also. If his older brother doesn’t have to hold my hand when walking on the sidewalk, he shouldn’t have to either.

Even as adults, we want life to be fair.

It makes sense, then, that when something goes wrong in our lives, one of the first things we cry for is justice. We don’t think we deserve this, and we want God to make it right. Sometimes, we even demand He make it right.

I have certainly struggled with this type of thinking. I deserve a baby. I would be a great mother. I would be a better mother than those women who deliver their babies in restrooms and then leave them there to die. You give them babies, God, and they don’t even take care of them. Why not me? It’s just not fair.


Maybe everyone around you seems to get everything they want. It seems like you are the only one whom God is holding out on. He gives freely to others with open arms.

Another baby? Of course. I’ll even make this one the girl you’ve been longing for… A raise at work? It’s coming next week… A healthy family? Absolutely… But for you, His hands seemed clenched shut. Everything you pray for, He refuses.

The very things He gives freely to others are the things He won’t allow you to grasp.

We cry for God’s justice because we assume if God were fair, He would give us the things we desire. We assume we deserve to have our prayers answered with a resounding yes.

The problem is, our thinking is flawed.

If God were fair, we wouldn’t get everything we want. We’d all get hell. Each and every one of us. That is what we deserve. Romans 3:23 says, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” All of us deserve hell.

Is it hard when God seems to give generously to others and withhold from us? Of course it’s hard.

But fairness isn’t the answer.

If God were fair, Jesus wouldn’t have died on a wooden cross 2000 years ago, because Jesus did nothing wrong. He did nothing deserving of death. If God were fair, Jesus wouldn’t have been the one up on that death trap. You and I would have been.

If we’re really honest, you and I don’t want fair. Not really. What we want is easy.

We want a life that’s free of pain, tears, and difficulties. We want a life that gives us what we want and fulfills all our dreams and hopes. Friends, that was never the life Jesus promised. Jesus promised in this world we would have trouble (John 16:33). He didn’t promise a life of ease.

God didn’t promise easy. He promised hope, joy, and peace — yes — but not the absence of pain.

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To learn more about Unbeaten visit here.

About Lindsey Bell:

Bell Lindsey VLindsey Bell is the author of the Bible study and devotional, Unbeaten, and of the parenting devotional, Searching for Sanity. She’s a stay-at-home mother of two silly boys, a minister’s wife, an avid reader, and a lover of all things chocolate. Lindsey writes weekly at www.lindseymbell.com about faith, family, and learning to love the life she’s been given.

 

 

 

 

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